The 17th of October marked my one year anniversary.

I'm shocked at how much time has passed and what little has happened other than I have an ass for a boyfriend who puts a face on to the public. Pros and Cons come by the loads with losing this much weight.

The pros most definitly out run the cons but tonight the cons run high and I'm struggling with the fact that I'm a danger to men and to myself at times. It's not being self absorbed or conceited but for some reason men flock to me like flies and sometimes I'm dangerous to good men and detrimental to myself when I meet the bad one who's sooo good looking.

I will never regret my decision and the process I went through to have the RNY surgery but sometimes being thin is a curse just like being over weight is.

I was 262 day of surgery and today I weigh 174 I'm still working towards my goal of 155 but I'm happy and love where I'm at now. Curvy in all the right spots and feeling sexy.

-Tierra

I'm home and well doing okay. reconstructive surgery on the tummy is not something I'd recommend to anyone!!!!! Unless you can get some energy from an outside source other than food prepare to feel like a slug. At times I feel like a toddler my mom or friend gets my sugar-free jello or water warms of the broth (the only things I can have at the moment) Or they cut in half a tylenol (might as well be eating smarties for all the good it does for me) I sleep constantly.... up eat, drink, potty walk, sleep...........several hours later I repeat the process all over again all while feeling feeble and old.

Getting me home was a bit of a process, I had my surgery on Friday the 17th and was supposed to come home on sunday afternoon. Well everything was going well until sunday afternoon I said I didn't feel well and then next thing I know is people are around my bed trying to get me to wake up and breath, my head is pounding and I can literally hear my heart beat I had a head ache so bad. 

It was a drug over dose. apparently this newbie druggie (me) can't handle the big stuff I pretty much passed out and quit working breathing and heart. Scared the hell out of my mom and of course the rest of my family. so they try and get me up and walking drinking water etc. to try and get me out of the drug stupour which eventually I do. But with being free of the drug comes the narccotic head ache oh and did that ever make me sick. Then they tried to give me percacet on any empty tummy which was not smart because 30 min later I puking that stuff up.

Anyhow time passes and I start getting back to normal and walking and showering on my own only I still have a bit of a head ache (which can now be contributed by the awful horrible uncomfortable bed as well as the drugs) My mom comes up after work by this time we're on monday evening. The nurses kept saying I was going to be staying another night but then the doctor comes by checks me and says he think's I will do okay at home. So round 1am on Tuesday morning I came home and climbed into a very comfortable bed and slept for a good 6 hours then I got sick again but that's supposedly a bit normal.

Monday mornings rise and shine song was Ironman by Black Sabbath followed my Air Hostess by Buster then it was out the door at 5:45 am to be to work at 6:30.

Today was not meant to be a good day… I arrived 5 min early thinking I had just enough time to organize some of my desk and get my water bottles filled only to realize that my 3-day vacation that started the previous Thursday caused me to miss an important announcement on Friday. Everybody was to be at work at 6 am that week. Gee that was a memo that needed to be passed on.

Now I don’t know if my supervisor was just being cruel because I showed up just before 6:30 or that there was really only 2XL’s and 3XL’s coming through and the trainee’s needed to get in more work on regular sizes before they had to do a 7 piece garment in a 20 piece bundle.

Now this may seem over dramatic and all but it really isn’t. regular sizes consist of 5 pieces that I am capable of putting together quite quickly, one garment takes me 48 seconds to put together and an entire bundle (20 garments) takes me just over 18 minutes. That is great since they give us 27 minutes for the entire bundle. Well anything above a 2XL is 7 pieces and a entire different process which they only give us 40 minutes to do. I being the fastest sewer in my operation can only get them done in 38 minutes in other words I make less money and my arms ache something awful by the end of the day.

Today my best friend Jessica and I did probably the most embarrassing thing in our entire friendship! (9years)

Jess had been nagging me to go with her to get a body wrap done for the past month or so. Well it sounded like a great idea, but there is the one small detail of having to get naked!!! Okay so you have on your bra and these little cloth/paper thongs but pretty much naked. I was not to keen on the idea of it but my friend said that most come away with a 7-13 inch loss. That sealed the deal for me I said okay.

To prepare for the body wrap they have to exfoliate the entire body. So the two girls grab a fruity smelling scrub and begin to rub this stuff all over. Now when I say all over I mean ALL over aside from the few covered places they scrubbed every inch of bare skin from the neck down! That included my posterior! UM HELLO!

Well after the very friendly rub down the girls applied the cream that helps detox the body. Once said cream is applied they wrapped us up in cellophane. They wrap us up so tight you can’t really move except to waddle over to the bed where you lean against then they put you in the bed. We looked like Cathy Bates in Fried Green Tomato's when she asked her husband Ned what he'd do if she answered the door wrapped only in cellophane, She looked considerably better in it than we did as her's was wrapped enough times you didn't see anything!

Then you incubate as they called it. 45 minutes sweating in a small room with my best friend. She so owed me for doing this with her! NO pictures for that event.

5:50 am the morning as I was driving the canyon headed for work. I spotted one of the most beautiful skies I’ve seen in a while.

The moon was setting just above the western mountains, full and heavy in the sky with a romantic red hue; reflecting the rising sun. The skylines milky blues and lavenders with a crust of cloudy baby pink. It was incredible!

The past 7 months I have gone to more than 20 appointments had to attempt to sleep through the night with a million wires connected to me for a sleep study and pay nearly $1000.00 in doctor’s bills.

The insurance requested another blood test (H-pylori) to see if I have bacteria in my stomach or had and acid reflux problem. It came back positive so they made me have an Endoscopy; knock me out and put a huge tube down my throat looking and my throat and tummy as well as burning off two ulcers.

Making you jump through every hoop finally they approve my surgery. The doctors office calls you to schedule pre-op exam and the surgery.

August 4^th was to be the day that I turned the proverbial leaf over. Beginning a new chapter in life heading towards healthy living; I was excited, nervous and shocked that it was finally going to happen.

This morning 7/18/08 Amber from my Surgeons office calls to say, “Doctor Belnap is going to be out of town that week I need to reschedule you.”

I… was… crushed.

August 2^nd the pre-op appointment: I am anxiously waiting in the lobby ready to meet Dr. Belnap again in a final weigh in and check-up before my surgery on the 15^th

Reading the latest Newsweek and sitting on a plush large black couch in the private room; reading about how the war is affecting us all and what a horrible thing it is… (what’s new really?) When in walks the Doc and begins the physical exam; prodding my stomach in the area he intends to operate on.

When he pulls back and looks down at his chart “hmmm” and a frown appears on his face. I immediately know ‘not good’ “How much weight have you lost?” He asks “28 pounds.” I reply. He flips through my chart again. “I need you to lose 25 more. Because this a laproscopic surgery I prefer my patients to have quick weight loss before the surgery so that when the fat cells pull away from the organs I have more wiggle room.” Sigh “okay.”

I held it together till I got to my car then a slew of profanities came out and then rushed in the tears. I called Ronda, Belnap did the same thing to her; she knows how I feel.

So once again I am waiting for my turn to have my surgery done. (sigh) just have to eat more veggies than I am now ( feeling like a rabbit) and work out more going from 5 days’ a week to 6 days a week. I will lose this weight and have my surgery.

( The List ) And this is just the ones I've remembered to write down... Well over 50 books read this summer. Oh I guess I should clarify this though; I listen to the narrated audio books so still the same book only someone is reading it to me. I listen to them in my car on the way to work, while at work, and on the way home from work. I listen to them while I work out and when I'm just sitting in my room getting ready for the day.

I got a new car last Saturday, it was also my birthday on the 7th so it was an early present to myself. But I'm quite impressed with it as well. I got one hell of a deal on it too!

THE DEAL
-2008
-2 miles on it
- lower payment than previous car
- $52 lower car insurance payment
- 0% interest for 60 months (my loan is that long so I'm never paying extra)
- It's in my favorite color (dark blue)
- 32 miles to the gallon on Hwy
-28 miles to the gallon in town
- 4x4
- Yes I can drive it in the snow!



I will have to take a pic of me in it and post it soon.

So I was at Mavrick (a local gas station) filling my car up; when up pulls a small white truck and out climb 3 guys. Now it was a quarter to 6 in the morning and we’re all on our way to work. Except these men looked like they had just left the construction site after 10 hours of hard work. Clothes still filthy from the previous who knows how many days; 3 day old beards and to top it off the smell from a few feet way was certainly NOT fresh!

Now this is where I become confused as to whether they are men or beast’s… without any scene of decency 2 had groped themselves and the 3rd who was fueling the truck put one finger to his left nostril and blew out the other one towards the ground! (gag) then he spit yucky stuff towards my car.

TO SAY THAT I WAS DISTGUSTED, REPULSED, MORDIFIED…etc. is a vast understatement.

There are some days I wish that society hadn’t evolved past when women acted like a Lady and men where still gentleman. In other words manners obviously aren’t being properly taught to children now days.